Read Jokes Online

Here are Some New Sites

2011-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

Talking about self improvement and technology development, there have been drives and pushes for things to start happening and help make the world a better place. In the list of several thousands of tech blogs on the internet, two new blogs have stand out to make a difference in making things look good.
care to visit these blogs? Just be patient.
Here is From Ayoonis a ground breaking post on self development
And here is from Olawale Daniel a DIY tech blog

Take some pain and check out this two blogs.

Onibalusi Jokes

2010-03-26T09:21:00.000-07:00

Onibalusi jokes is a kind of jokes onibalusi guys read if onibalusi invites a friend of onibalusi to meet at onibalusi house in onibalusi street very close to onibalusi lodge behinde onibalusi Kiley stroke very close to onibalusi well under onibalusi bridge first turning by the left towards onibalusi nur/pry sch towards onibalusi hall getting you to a remote area called onibalusi avenue Onibalusi str no. 21 inside there you can see an inscription ONIBALUSI it's captions runs ONIBALUSI;ONIBALUSI;ONIBALUSI;ONIBALUSI;ONIBALUSI;ONIBALUSI; it runs six bold words in different colors shouting ONIBALUSI in its arena if you see an old man ask him of Onibalusi lodge he will say "ahh Onibalusi is a very popular name in this area I will show you the way to Onibalusi lodge but you will pay me to settle their big dogs", just tell him you don't need to see Onibalusi but you want onibalusi jokes he will tell you lots of them for free, he will also tell you how one Onibalusi man fell in the well with his wife what he was doing I don't know many Onibalusi jokes can be shared to you by the old Onibalusi friend man freely.
Onibalusi Jokes

Plenty People Read Jokes Online

2010-03-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

THE JOURNEY OF LIFE BY ONIBALUSI AYODEJI

2010-03-10T08:44:00.001-08:00

The Journey Of Life by Onibalusi Ayodeji is now out for people who need to order for it, it is out in a PDF format for sale at $30 dollar per copy. This book is a must have for you and your kids you can send a vtn ePin to 23430635487 or ayoonis@gmail.com but we strongly recommend that you send it to the mobile number and you should include the email address you will like to receive it in along with the ePin we are assuring you that the e-Copy of the book will be delivered to your mail box within an interval of 24hrs of receiving the message.
!!!WE ARE MAKING A OFFER TO THOSE THAT BUY WITHIN NOW AND NEXT 2 MONTHS A FREE JOKE ENCYCLOPEDIA WILL BE GIVEN AS A TAKE AWAY TO THE PEOPLE THAT BUY THE BOOK WITHIN THIS PERIOD!!!

ONIALUSI

2010-03-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

We are about to bring out a book called the journey of life a companion to your life time reading also suitable for your kids, its fun to read this book it is a must have. I am sorry it is only available offline and for Nigerians only even to those living at places like Ibadan, Lagos, Anambra Abeokuta and some other western parts of Nigeria.
This book is authored by Onibalusi Ayodeji. OK you can receive the book as an e-book and you will have a full resell right to it but you are expected to make a reference to the author and publishers. The e-book will be sent to your mail within an interval of 24hrs of processing; just send a text message or an e-mail to +2348030635487 or ayoonis@gmail.com respectively, the mail should be containing the payment details of a sum of #1500 or $30 you made to the bank account below;

bank; Zenith bank Nigeria
Account name; Ayodeji Onialusi C.
Account No; 4213820421
Branch; Ekulobia Anambra State Nigeria

To pay in dollars you can pay by sending a vtn e-pin scratch card to +2348030635487.
Thanks for complying with us

We have some other books to be out and we know you will be longing to buy a joke encyclopedia from us YES one is on its way you will be seeing it within a month. Thanks
You are our valued reader and we believe we can make you lively by giving you lots of funny and humorous writings OK read this;

A Stupid Man
a man was walking along on the street after coming from his office on payday
and some hefty and huge guys stopped him, perhaps they were thieves they started
forcing him to give what was on him to them and the man struggled with them for
long but they overwhelmed him because they were stronger than he, they searched
him and met a coin on him they were embarrassed and they asked him if this was why
he had being struggling with them and the fool responded to them that
he taught they wanted to take the money he hid in his shoes, the big boys beat up the
fool and collected all that was on him and left him helpless.

you can see the image of the man after being beaten by the thieves.

LEARN HOW TO HACK A WIRELESS NETWORK

2010-03-05T08:01:00.000-08:00

Just goto LEARN HOW TO HACK A WIRELESS NETWORK

ONIBALUSI...

2010-03-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

How do you see this stuff, its like cheating on GOOGLE, is that not? well its from a little blogger who is called Lanre Onibalusi.
This is called "keyword stuffing" I believe it is not done with a pure mind. This is an act of manipulating Google search engine result. Called black hat SEO.

"Onibalusi lanre is a boy of intelligence given by God to the onibalusi family.Lanroni is a precious teenager of 12yrs old.Onibalusi is in jss3.He has started writing since jss1 Onibalusi, Onibalusi, Onibalusi,Onibalusi,Onibalusi,Onibalusi,Onibalusi"
Onibalusi Ayodeji

READ JOKES ONLINE

2010-03-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

If you have been looking for a way to read jokes online fine it is right here for you to read jokes online, just found yourself here dear esteemed reader for you to read jokes online you are in the right place for that stay funny as you read jokes online. Thanks
AYODEJI ONIBALUSI

DirtyJokes

2010-02-22T15:37:00.000-08:00

why are you stealing go and sell those shit that reside in your sewage to zone b

Man Deposits Child For Garri

2010-02-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

A man was desperately hungry and he has no money on him, his wife was bitterly abusing him and was calling him names, he was discouraged in what his wife did he then asked one of his sons to follow him to get some food on credit he took the one his wife loves most to make her feel his absence when he got to the mallam who sells food he told the man to give him seven plates of garri, the man gave the quantity he requested for, he then told the man to watch over his boy till he comes back to change the money with him the foolish mallam left him to go with the garri and left his useless child with him, the man went home straight away and began to eat the food, the boy who was also sensible told the mallam to give some nice food like hamburgers, aubergines, roast chicken and so on, he eat such food for about a week before his poor dad and mum came to retrieve him when they asked the mallam the cost of their bill it was close to $5000 which the family if sold together could not afford to pay, the boy threatened the malam to collect his money immediately but they fought and they were all imprisoned and the greedy boy who was left in charge of the market eat up all that was there.

A Cow Went to Court

2010-02-22T14:48:00.000-08:00

There was a cow that was specialize in stealing other animals food, one day he went into the pot tortoise kept his roasted yam and was attracted to the food, then he began to eat the roasted yam while he was still eating tortoise came in and caught him eating his food and he sued him to court when the got to the court the lawyers who are human took it on their heals and were running like mad

PASTORS JOKES

2010-02-19T07:44:00.000-08:00

A crazy boy want to his pastor one early morning, he began to beg the pastor to forgive him, the pastor who became confused told the boy boy he is not to confess to him but to God, the boy who knew what he was doing insist that the pastor forgive the pastor now told him to confess his sins, the boy then told the pastor to forgive him for his has slept with all his(pastor) daughter and including his wife, when the pastor hared this he was shock but he pretends to bare it, he then told the boy that he would have to come to the church when everybody would be droping their offering, the pastor told the boy to shout AMEN the amount of time he had slept with each of his daughter that comes out to drop her offering. When the first daughter came out he yelled AMEN three times, when the second one came out he yelled AMEN six times, he also yelled AMEN six times when the woman(the wife of the pastor) came out the boy began to yell AMEN when the pastor counted AMEN twenty times and the boy was not about to stop the furious PASTOR yelled "God will not forgive you in Jesus Name

Drinkers Jokes

2010-02-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

"Gently...take it easy, his neighbor murmured. We shall drink all the whiskey under the table. They invited great drinkers like us and look at the glass they give us!I don't think they will be able to make us drunk..."
he began to laugh under his breath Meka laughed too.
"Lets wait" said the "other lets wait"
He emptied his glass and ran his tongue over his lips

2010-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

blogarama.com

Teacher's Joke

2010-02-10T08:55:00.000-08:00

After dealing with us all, he accused us of telling him to his face that he was stupid to have taken up a TEACHING appointment. In another instance, perhaps the man was extremely tired while he was simply hungry, he mistakenly shouted “Get breadi to chop” instead of “get ready to stop”
Read jokes online

Read Jokes Online

2010-02-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

Birthday Jokes

2010-02-03T06:44:00.000-08:00

Onibalusi has a story about a birthday joke A girl has a friend who is an imbecile the imbecile once told the birthday girl that he will be having the best seat on the high table, but the birthday girl made a lots of argument with the imbecile who eventually left the matter.
On the ceremony day the imbecile came and sat on the cake when the birthday girl was to take a camera shoot in her well beautified attire. What a mess.

2010-01-31T03:35:00.001-08:00

how funny it is

2010-01-30T06:45:00.000-08:00

It was about some thieves that went to calabar for an operation to steal in an hotel. When they got there they discovered that eyes were on them then they decided to turn to other animals so that they will not be visible. The first one turned to a lizard, when the other one saw what happened then he also turned to a cat. The most stupid among them who thought he was the wisest turned to a dog not knowing that calabar people love to eat dogs so much. When the people hunting for dogs saw that a dog has appeared then they called the remaining ones and they shouting Oweee!, party don land O! and they slaughtered the dog, when the other ones got home they started looking for the dog among them they found out that he wasn't present, then they started asking the villagers that were looking for a dog and the villagers answered them that they just killed a dog now and they finished it with a gallon of palm wine and the villagers began to narrate to them that dogs don't pass here anyhow. When the thieves heard this, they fell on their faces and they started crying, and the villagers began to ask them if it was because of dog that they were crying and they replied that it wasn't a dog but their brother that turned to a dog, and the villagers bursted into laughter.

best jokes ever

2010-01-27T12:09:00.000-08:00

How to form a comedy

2010-01-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

In order to write a good joke, it is best to start with a real story. When you're telling that story to an audience, make good use of pauses to get the audience to laugh. Then expand on the story with your own joke.

When you are writing a joke, it is always good to start with a true story. They say that truth is stranger than fiction, and this is generally the case. Learn to center to the news, and observe the world around you. Comedy is about finding the funny elements of everyday life, and in order to do that you need to watch or center carefully. Ayodeji Onibalusi is known for a comedy routine that consists of fantastic things he overheard while eating in restaurants.

Once you hit a story to tell, you need to tell it for maximum impact. Many jokes consist of telling a story that sounds familiar, then having an unheralded twist at the end. Figure out which part of your story contains the unheralded twist, and save that part to be used at the end. Use pauses to give the audience time to react to your story. In order to get your joke right, experiment with different ways of telling your story. Use as much detail as necessary, but not more. Everyone has been on the receiving end of a joke that just goes on and on, so keep your joke as brief as you can without losing the gist of your story.

Once you've started telling the story, take the time to put your own twist on it. A great funny fiction or an unusual point of view is what module make the joke your own, instead of something that anyone could hit thought of. Try to look at your story from a different point of view, then integrate that point of view into your joke.

The ability to write good jokes is crucial for a successful comedian. Writing jokes doesn't start with a blank artefact of paper. Instead, start with an observation or a story. Practice observing life, and hunting at it from a different point of view. Then experiment with telling your story for maximum impact. As you're telling your story, put your own twist on it by hunting from a different point of view.

2010-01-21T17:10:00.001-08:00

Get a Home Emergency Kit and be ready. This site is listed under Funny Forums Directory

A GIRL DATING A BOY

2010-01-15T13:01:00.000-08:00

Here's my own story about a ridiculous breakup. I don't know that it's the worst EVER, but it's certainly infuriating.

I had been dating this guy for about a year. He had some serious issues, but he was really sweet and considerate, always surprising me with little presents, etc. So I kept hoping that there was a future to the relationship. But at some point I finally realized that it needed to end.

I worked up the courage to call him (we were living about an hour away from each other at the time, so we weren't seeing each other too frequently) and told him it was over. We could still be friends, we could still hang out, but our relationship issues were just too much to be overcome. He cried. I cried. We were on the phone for awhile before I finally called it quits.

I was going to let him make the next move, since he was the injured party. If he wanted to be friends, that was fine. If not, that was fine too, and probably easier.

About a week went by and I hadn't heard from him. Then I got home and apparently he'd been calling all day trying to reach me. I thought something might be wrong, so I called him back.

He was acting evasive, trying to make small talk...

2010-01-12T01:53:00.000-08:00

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?" The pharmacist asks, "You mean aspirin?" "That's it, I can never remember the word."

"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he's invisible." The doctor says, "Tell him I can't see him!"

There are only two things that are certain in this life - Death and Taxes. Unless you are wealthy - then there are Monaco and Cryogenics.

There was a girl I dated in high school whose name was Becky, but everyone called her "Lincoln" because all the guys took a shot at her in the balcony.

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

If a man doesn't have any fingers, can he be counted on?

A man accidentally cut off all of his fingers with a saw. The doctor said, "Thank goodness for microsurgery. Give me the fingers, and I'll sew them back on!" The man said, "I couldn't pick them up!"

I'm a pessimistic optimist. I expect the worst - that way things can only get better.

I'm right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 2%?

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.

I tried to build a dog house, but I only had enough dogs to build 3 walls.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

I got tired of treasure hunting, so I sat down on a big chest on top of a giant "X".

2010-01-12T01:37:00.000-08:00

I have a funny mouth, could you believe that if I yarn only you can laugh till they carry your corps out of the place you are, one thing i know well is that all you want is cute short jokes short jokes funny jokes kid jokes
cute riddles love jokes onine jokes one liner jokes . Then if you don't need that then why are you here then I believe that you need stuffs like dirty jokes, yo mama jokes, funny jokes, clean jokes, Italian jokes, ayodeji onibalusi jokes, basket mouth jokes, Ghana jokes American jokes OK just read them below thanks. Ha if you want to die in funny jokes just try to click on those sponsored links and come back you will find out that there is a change in the jokes you've just read.

do you know how you can get infos for free

2010-01-12T01:20:00.000-08:00

Hi its time again to do some things serious in life you know you need to do some things yourself see things you can do your self here: unblock facebook myspace, hi5 and other social networking sites with just a click of the mouse learn how to use a piano just go to informationfor-all.blogspot.com

Terrible Thieves

2009-12-19T05:39:00.000-08:00

As I was driving down home what I heard on my screen was a thud and it was a smash of the egg, five of it at a time it seriously stained my screen so I had to get down to clean it off, as I was stepping out one sharp guy jumped into the car and before I noticed what was on he had drove off

one grandma goes to court

2009-12-19T05:32:00.000-08:00

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

The defense attorney nearly died.

The just asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

Daddy and Mummy

2009-12-17T03:07:00.000-08:00

A married man who has one son called junior do have sexual relationship with his house help, one day he and his family were eating together when Junior his son who talks too much said "daddy I saw our gate-man doing what you use to do to our house help to mummy. The couple who were deadly ashamed shouted Junior you talk too much

The Man In The Bathroom With Son
Mr kai was in the bathroom with his son early in the morning, when the little boy saw his Dad pull off all his cloths including his pants the boy looked at his father from his abdomen to his thigh, what he saw amazed him and he asked his father as a sharp boy that wants to know every thing "Dad why is your penis much bigger than mine his father laughed and told not to call it penis again that he should call it a lorry and he should call his small one a little car. The man told the boy that his mother's own is a garage that he can park his big lorry in it whenever he comes back from work. When the boy came back from school he went straight to his mum for practicals of what he learned from his father, he said "mum can I park my small car in your big garage pointing to his mum's private part.

The African Boyz
Two African boys were on a trip to U.S when they got there they admired the superiority in U.S to that of Ghana, one Sunday they were to go to church at the entrance of the church they asked the gatekeeper what was going on in the church they were told it was thanksgiving, they both entered the church and were told to contribute $20 but when they heard it one of them fainted and the other carried him out.

Thieves! Thieves! Theives!

2009-12-15T01:41:00.000-08:00

Ha! Thieves! Thieves! Thieves! was what I heard, looking behind me I saw two hefty guys been dragged by policemen into a police van, they were taken to the station immediately. They were later charged to court for breaking into two stores and were responsible for two missing phones, a good lawyer was called to help them sort things out court the lawyer came and asked them if they really broke the stores and stole the missing phones which they reluctantly admitted they did, the lawyer told them that if they need his help they would be ready to give him one of the phones they stole which accepted to do. The lawyer gave them new ideas that when they were at court they should pretend to be dumb (i.e to make mumuuuuuuu sounds) so that if the judge asks any questions no answers will be given to him which will provoke the judge to send them out of the court and they will be free. They got to the court and they decided to do as they were told to do.
The names of the thieves were Jude and John
Judge:Jude and John were you two responsible for the missing phones?
Jude&John:(Pretends to be dumb) no answer
Judge:(confused) are you people deaf?
Jude&John:(in chorus)mumuuuuu
Judge: b(in annoyance) are these people deaf?!
Lawyer:(answering) Yes my lord they are deaf and dumb my lord
Judge:(furious) take these useless things away from my presence right now!
Both of them were taken away. The lawyer meets the thieves for his own share of the stolen phones see their conversation
Lawyer:Hi guys I've been here for my share of the phones as we agreed to
Jude&John:(pretends to be dumb again)mumuuuuuu!
Lawyer:(in annoyance)where is my share
Jude&John:(silent)
Lawyer:are you deaf!
Jude&John:(silent)
Lawyer: (sighs greatly and leaves in annoyance).
The Lawyer left without receiving a dim.

2009-12-13T23:55:00.000-08:00

2009-12-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

words by someone

2009-12-11T09:50:00.000-08:00

But if Ayodeji Onibalusi wants to make a lots of funny writings on the internet what can he do we all concluded that he meets the big producers called Ayoonis Art Works (AAW) to help us make our works on the internet. Please patiently wait for this piece of work called THE JOURNEY OF LIFE by Ayodeji Onibalusi coming up soon. Thanks feel free to contact us 2348089712442 or 2348030635487 you can also email us at ayoonis5gmail.com

JOKES AGAIN
Mr Cane is a very poor man who believes that any man that happens to be rich comes about his riches by money ritual, one terrible day he was tempted to do money ritual, when he got to the ritualist he was told that he has to sleep with a mad woman who is at least 40yrs mad and the mad woman must not talk till he finished what he was to do. This will be done at the village market square which must be done at night. He set out in search of a woman who is 40yrs mad and fortunately for him he found one with ease and he began the operation immediately Wow both of them were enjoying the game at last he remembered his mission the mad woman who seems to be dumb shouted "ha it is sweet oh after 40yrs" this man went home crying and he was poor forever cos he has failed.

The risk in a beautiful woman

2009-12-10T01:22:00.000-08:00

What I've early learn t about women is that if you marry a beautiful woman you will not have rest of mind but if you marry an ugly one you can feel relaxed because if anyone passes by her he will say hi and go on his own. Just like the day I went to national theater, I came along with my wife and I had to go get somjavascript:void(0)e drinks for I and her before i left I had to go on my knees begging my wife darling "I'm on my knees please I want to go and buy some drinks for I and you". immediately I left one sharp guy came running to her saying "sweet lady can we dance together" and I was over there shouting hey! hey! we came together.

fun on the go

2009-12-07T02:19:00.000-08:00

comments:

readjokesonline said...

jokes! jokes! jokes!
fun on the go
Knock! knock! Knock!
Who is the cow knocking at my door? Who is the goat shouting inside the room? Will you open up befor I KNOCK once again? Let the fool knock once again
December 2, 2009 8:25 AM
Ayodeji Onibalusi said...

A man was suffering from series of sickness so he had to visit a native doctor. See the conversation that went on between them
Man:Good day doctor I v been here to see you
Doctor:Gentleman what is your problem \
Man:They are many doctor
Doctor:Name them for me
Man:Headache, fever, stomachache,apolo, malaria,diabetes, cough enlarged kidney and so on
Doctor: OK sit down and let me examine you.
While the test was going on a provoking sound that commanded the air to change its taste came out with a bad sound from the man's anus and this provoked the doctor
Doctor:WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE ALL ABOUT!
Man: sir it is part of my sickness. All the other patients torn their mouths just in laughter
December 2, 2009 8:42 AM
Ayodeji Onibalusi said...

An illiterate girl was to buy panadol at Papa Adol's drug store the girl began to cram Papa Adol instead of panadol when she got there she told papa adol that she wants to buy papa adol and the old man became furious when he thought she was mocking him and he gave her a dirty beating that she was no more recognized by her parents
December 2, 2009 9:02 AM
Ayodeji Onibalusi said...

A Poem
Why Do We Laugh!

Why Do We Laugh!
We seem to joke and laugh
This happens all our day time
We aren't serious in our life time

Joke off the time laugh out our money
And we haven't a bunch of calves
But we have some wharf to calve
Our God blessed us with time
We men all do with time

Willing Willing to do all at once
But the time says one at once
Then why do we laugh at all things
Funny enough I don't laugh at all
I was drown in a sea of laughter when I lost my car

Author AYODEJI ONIBALUSI (AYOONIS)

Slap the king?

2009-12-02T09:46:00.000-08:00

JOKES
.
A king was holding a meeting that consist of his chiefs, village elders and title holders when a servant who thought it was his job to keep the king tidy gave the king a resounding SLAP in the name of killing a mosquito that escaped after it heard the loud sound at the face of the king
some people drown in bad mud water see them below:

Welcome to readjokeonline.blogspot.com

2009-11-28T10:54:00.001-08:00

Welcome to my blog, hope you have a wonderful time with me.